CortZone

2005-09-21T18:25:00.000-07:00

Ode to Fallers...

2005-09-21T16:34:00.000-07:00

Hello folks! Yes, it has been a while hasn't it? I do apologize. This thing called school started up again, and the ball is really rollin' now. So, on a related note I am going to talk about something that happened today. It is in coorelation with my title. You can take a stab at it if you'd like. It is something that has happened to all of us. It is inevitable, and unnavoidable. It almost always happens at the worst possible time. It is unsuspected. You will never catch it before it gets the best of you. It is....a fall. Yes, an un-smooth superman leap that lands you on your face. Some call it "bustin ass". A halfsy trip-slip I call the "Michael Jackson slide".

Anyway, there were a few girls that had the privelege of viewing my "busting of the ass" today. Unfortunately the one girl I wasn't particularly fond of. Also unfortunately the building is made of a glass material...yeesss...everything is visible to evvverrryybody! So, I was traveling into this building (as it has most of my classes) and as incompetent designers will have it the entrance floor is made of tile. That's right. In Florida they chose TILE as a walkway outdoors. Either way, I safely completed my journey down the stairs. Ironic as that may be. I began to trot across the tile when my right foot found a small puddle of water(apparently). Before I realized what had happened I was on all fours. My mind had been busy with other things. And my friend had left me just seconds before the occurence. Thank God. So, I must've detected the slip of my shoe because I made a rather high pitched "oop" noise as I began to go down. It caught me totally off guard. Once my leg decided to leave me, I could do nothing but follow my body to the ground.

There is no saving grace here. Honestly, when you take a fall, and I don't mean a stumble or a trip...but a real fall...you kind of lose something. Of course there is the humiliation factor. Depending on who was around, and who saw the fall your reputation could be seriously tainted. If you fall in a place where you commonly visit, you WILL be seen there again. And God be with you if the witnesses are low level aquaintances or hopeful love interests, cuz you will then forever be known to them as "that girl who busted her ass". Yep, it's over.

So, what are you to do? Nothing much can be done folks. As I stated, a fall is something we cannot control. Your time will eventually come to take a tumble, but until then there are a few things you can do.

1. Watch your friggin' feet!!! Where you step will make or break a fall. Be the tree stump.

2. Wear shoes that don't slip or get slippery in the rain. Flops and such make walking on tile, or oil slicked streets an accident waiting to happen.

3. Take your bloody time you fools! Being in a rush up and down stairs can land you with a broken neck or bruised ego. Take your time in bumpy places. This means allowing extra time if you anticipate stairs on your journey.

4. Ding! Take an elevator. No walking= zero probability of falling (for most ppl anyway).

5. Be good for goodness sake. Karma is a bad lil demon, and it is real folks. If you ROFL at a chubby girl who busts her ass you can bet your clock will start tickin'.

6. What if God was one of us? He would point and laugh too. But if you pray a lil more and curse a lil less it is likely that he will be a lil more lenient.

It happened to me, so don't think it can't happen to you. God Speed.

2005-09-05T21:20:00.000-07:00

The Georgia Rain

2005-09-05T20:03:00.000-07:00

I will begin tonight's post by giving some praise to Trisha Yearwood. She is a classic country diva, and she has managed to turn out some of the most amazing hit songs in her career. For no reason other than its beautiful tone and lyrics, I have selected her new single Georgia Rain as my favorite country song of the week. It's soothing, yet touching melody will take you away from all that is on your mind. For you virgins to the song, I have placed the lyrics below. All can somehow relate to this one. Go Trisha! Sound Bite Coming

Georgia Rain
1st Verse
Barefoot in the bed 'a your truck
On a blanket lookin' up
Half a moon peekin' down at us
From underneath the clouds
Teenage kids sneakin' out again
Heard the thunder rollin' in
We were fallin' the moment when
It all came pourin' down
1st Chorus
The Georgia rain
On the Jasper County clay
Couldn't wash away
What I felt for you that day
Just you and me down an old dirt road
Nothin' in our way
Except for the Georgia rain
2nd Verse
Cotton fields remember when
Flash 'a lightnin' drove us in
We were soaked down to the skin
By the time we climbed inside
And I don't remember what was poundin' more
Heart in my chest or the hood of that Ford
As the sky fell in, the storm clouds poured
Worlds away outside
2nd Chorus
The Georgia rain
On the Jasper County clay
Couldn't wash away
All the love we made
Just you and me down that old dirt road
No one saw a thing
Except for the Georgia rain
3rd Verse
Screen door flappin' in the wind
Same ol' house I grew up in
Can't believe I'm back again
After all these years away
You fixed your Daddy's house up nice
I saw it yesterday when I drove by
Looks like you've made youself a real good life
What else can I say
Tag Chorus
The Georgia rain
On the Jasper County clay
Couldn't wash away
The way I loved you to this day
The ol' dirt road's paved over now
Nothin' here's the same
Except for the Georgia rain

Now, Now...Let us away. After an unnecessary "holiday" break, school shall kick back in session tomorrow. I am so not looking forward to it. A day of Dr. Flagadoodle (name changed to protect the freaky). Don't get me wrong, I do think the woman is brilliant, but she is also a large scary person. I try not to make direct eye contact, for fear she will start talking about her size again. She must be pushing the approximate weight of a small elephant. And she insists on openly discussing it! It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't continuously sit 'atop the tables and slip her hand down her giant skirt to adjust her undergarments....in front of us.

I should be thankful. As arduous as I make it out to be, the opposite days are worse. 3 classes I have. Beginning with an 8am'er. Here's a funny thing...this guy...my 8am professor, insists on having a seating chart put into place next class session. Have you heard of anything so ludicrous in a college classroom? I mean, we're all adults here. Things happen... it's a large class...should somebody want to switch around, or for what ever reason doesn't want to sit in the same damn seat every day, its their bleepin right, thank you. He claims it's for memorization of names, pah! I think he has control issues.

Ikes alou!

Anyhow, I shall be popping up a new blog soon. I am discussing it with somebody who is going to assist me in it's introduction, so it's best not to speak of the content just yet. Plus, my blog followers may be a tad surprised. So stay tuned...to quote the movie of the night..."All shall reveal itself in due course." -EVER AFTER Eh he... For those who have seen it, he was suuuuch the sexy bitch. Mmmmm.

~Night Y'all~

If you are un-parking, they will come...

2005-09-03T14:40:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes...it is that time again! School is back. Students will flock. All will try to cram into the little parking lot. It is the best one on campus. The one by the building with ALL OF MY CLASSES. I'm thinking, only people who are a part of the Mass Comm. program should be permitted to park there. The madness has already started with the freshman. You'd think they'd be reluctant to jump into the game of bumper cars we all play in the lots, but they apparently have no reservations. Cocky lil bastards. I had two freshman on either side of me the first day (their bulbous backpacks and Hollister shirts ratted them out). They two-wheeled into the open spaces so unnecessarily close that I couldn't crack my door enough to get out without the old squeeze and roll maneuver. Which, mind you, I should not have to be breaking out the first day back to hell.
Either way, it has returned. Pride fills me in shades of gold and green. HA right.

So, the first week wasn't bad. I mean, it was average. I got lucky switching and swapping out my classes at the last minute. Once we get rollin'...woo...momma will be 'abusy.

Switching Topics:

Leading into this weekend. Does anyone ever notice that people who work in a coffee shop almost have to be uniquely strange? I am not dissing coffee shop employees, but I noticed today. After having vistited one myself, I ran into an old friend who is notorious for his unique strangeness. Ironically, also now a manager of a local coffee shop. He has always been one who didn't care what people thought of him. But he wasn't ever doing it to get attention. There are a lot of strange people who just seem to be screaming "Hey, look at me!" But my friend, as well as the unique coffee shop folks I am referring to, are different. He has his own aura of...Originality. He takes on the thick glasses, shaggy highlighted hair, anorexic kind of look. So glancing at him you may assume him to be, shall we say a "freak". On the contrary, he is one of the most lovable, compassionate, intelligent people I have ever met. So, maybe the odd uniquely strange coffee shop people are as well, angels in disguise. Just a little food for thought. Maybe next time you visit a coffee shop, you'll think differently eh?

I must go now...till next time!

2005-07-29T22:58:00.000-07:00

Burger King Rebuttal: "Have It Your Way?"

2005-07-29T20:20:00.000-07:00

Let me start by informing you that this blog is not only an account of an extremely rude event that occurred today, but a post in opposition to my dear friend Chris's most recent post (who was with me at the time of the incident).
My dear friend's Liz, Chris and I had not had lunch together since the spring semester ended, and so last night Chris petitioned us to do so this afternoon. I was set to get off work at 1pm and Liz had to go in at 5pm, so we shot for 2:30pm. Liz and I had recently seen the advertisement for Burger King's new chicken fries, which we both agreed looked scrumptious, and we talked Chris into going there. Now mind you, Liz and I are normally fervent BK snubbers, (our fat asses prefer Wendy's ;) but we really did want to try those chicken fries. So, we met at the nearest BK at the scheduled time. Apparently, Chris had been already waiting (creepily) inside at a table. Knowing what he wanted already we filed into the BK line and he ordered first. Liz and I decided on the chicken fry meal which came with the the chicken, a choice of 6 sauces, a fry and a drink. Chris was served first and stepped aside. There were about 3 young girls working the front counter, and the one who cashiered asked us if we wouldn't mind our orders on the same tray. Seeing as how we ordered separately and paid separately I would have considered us two separate customers, but nonetheless they didn't wait for a response before shoving our food on the same small tray. Next, Moe, BK worker #2 twisted around to hand us our overloaded tray and in the process knocked one of the fries over. Spilling them all over the tray and half onto the floor, she makes an annoyed grumble. Curly, the cashier and idle Larry stand aside and laugh, and then Curly says "Hey 'Moe', just give them a new fry". Instead of listening to Curly, obviously the brighter bulb of the three, Moe turns around with a disgruntled look on her face, scoops a cup of new fries up, and just tosses them onto the greasy thin lined tray. Not in a box, nope. She just threw them on the tray and slapped it down in front of us as Larry and Curly tried to stifle their giggles. As appalled as I was, Liz made the most disgusted face and managed to squeak out, "that's disgusting". Curly looked at us as we were in awe of what had so rudely occurred. Shocked, we turned and walked to our table. After a moment of sitting and pondering, the incident fueled my fire enough to go back up to the counter and confront the situation. I was met half way by Curly, who had a new half-full box of fries in hand. She knew we were angry, and handed me the piddly box with a sarcastic smirk and walked off. Despite our irritation, Liz and I gave into hunger and began to eat. While of course re-hashing the event in order to ensure ourselves that what Moe did was exceptionally rude. We were reassured as I looked to the front and noticed the trio standing in a huddle staring at us. They knew what we were talking about, and my ear caught phrases like "Chill the hell out" coming from their direction. By this time I was ready to go up there and put fear into some teeny boppers, when Chris laughed and blurted, "Wouldn't it be funny if she said, (referring to the fries) 'It's either those or the ones on the floor'?" Our mouths gaped open as Liz and I verbally jumped Chris and forced him to admit the truth. Moe had said that exact thing presuming none of us could hear her. Throughout the meal we were of course so appalled by what had occurred we discussed a need for a further course of action. Liz and I both have jobs that deal with customer service, and I also deal with food service. We agreed, as we already knew, that neither of us would ever speak to or treat a customer in such a manner. I, myself had just come from work. Having put up with people all day, and putting on my smile for the scum of public society I was not even prepared to tolerate this adjunct bullshit* (for lack of a better word). Chris continued to mock us and disagree with everything we said or felt about the matter. Even after agreeing momentarily that it was rude, he REFUSED to BACK UP his BEST FRIENDS' plan of action to confront a manager, or higher BK authority of the situation. After keeping an eye on a middle aged man who looked to be a manager of some power, Liz and I approached him at the counter. Liz began by frustratingly laying out the incident, stating how dissatisfied we were and informing him of Moe's smart mouthed comment that Chris (who was now hiding in the back) overheard. Bubble head asst. manager didn't bat an eye, and with no expression asked us to repeat the fry incident again. By then, a few freshly clocked in associates began scuttling around to listen. I re-stated very slowly what had occurred and then pointed out once again that we both work in customer service and were not only disappointed in the service, but were appalled by the actions of his associates and felt very uncomfortable and even offended in his restaurant. He smugly apologized and asked us if we could identify the person mainly responsible. We looked for Moe for about a minute, and were about to give up when she popped through the service door. Liz pointed a finger at her, and the girl stopped like a deer in the headlights. "I think it was you. Right? With the fries," Liz said, calmly accusing her. The asst. manager assured us with a sulken face that he would get to the bottom of it, and didn't even turn around to look at the girl we identified. How's that for making amends eh? Boy, I feel better now. Honestly, a little enthusiasm or sympathy when customers come to you goes a long way pal. That's NOT good management. Then again, I should be shocked he didn't join in laughing with Moe, Larry and Curly. So, who knows what'll happen. Liz wants to write Burger King Corp., and I support her. I guess that's just what we get. It is BK after all.

2005-07-25T15:42:00.000-07:00

This is my man...lookin' sooo very sexy! ; )

Backstreet's Back Alright!

2005-07-25T09:40:00.000-07:00

So, over the weekend I had a reunion with my husband of ten years, Kevin Richardson. He was playing with his band, the Backstreet Boys at the Ford Amphitheatre. The concert was fun, because honestly seeing them again and rekindling what we had...*sigh...priceless. The climate could've been a tad nicer. It was an open dome in the middle of July in Florida. It shouldn't surprise you that they were actually taking people out in stretchers. Anyway, to read more about the actual concert read my friend Liz's blog.
The fun story I wanted to share was about a couple of my work buddies who also attended the concert. We'll call them Roseanne and Grace. Roseanne and Grace are sisters, R is 21 and G is 19. They both work with me in the bakery and share a love for BSB. The issue at hand, speaking to both of them separately, seemed to be that Grace was always jealous of Roseanne. They are sisters, and they should love each other. BUT there has always been this silent resentment between them because Grace is, how shall we say, a little less dainty and feminine than Roseanne. Just a tad. Roseanne is also older, and has had many men under her belt. Contrary to her sister Grace who's had none. That's right....zippo. Being 19 I guess one could see how she could become so bitter towards her more endowed sister, but what transpired in my opinion wasn't acceptable. I went with a couple of friends to BSB, and R & G went together. I questioned R about how she thought this would turn out considering G's typically jealous rampages. She gave her sister the benefit of the doubt that she would be normal for a night. So, Making a long story shorter, when we arrived G and R called me about a dozen times each so we could wave at each other from our seats. We did eventually spot each other, then the pre-acts began. Right before BSB was set to take the stage, Roseanne calls me in a panicked voice telling me Grace managed to slip into a restricted section up front. "Oh, that's great!" I said, as I assumed she was with her. Roseanne then told me that Grace had actually gone down there without telling her that she was meeting up with two friends who knew an usher that planned to sneak them in closer. So, Grace knowlingly abandoned her sis and got herself into this great position at the stage to sit with her two friends. When Roseanne called wanting to know where her beloved sister had gone, Grace let her know that she now had better seats and wasn't coming back. Roseanne wanted to join her, but Grace emphatically replied with a negative. Telling Roseanne that her friends already "risked a lot" getting her in there, and they didn't want to risk sneaking Roseanne in. So, Roseanne was left sitting in an ass back section alone as her sister guiltlessly slumbered at the foot of the stage. Happy Grace called me as my party was leaving the concert to tell me about her adventure, but feeling bad for Roseanne I cut her off with "How could you do that to your sister?!" She mumbled a long excuse I could barely make out and ended it with an accusing, "You would have done it too!" I confidently replied, "Hell no I would not", and bid her good night. This controversial scenario has been debated over for the last couple of days, and I feel that what occurred was morally wrong, and perhaps qualifies as chick betrayal. Seriously...If you disagree I want to hear from you. Either way, tell me what you think. Is leaving a sister or a friend alone at a concert for a closer look honorable??? I'm looking forward to your input.

Welcome to Life. I'll Be Your Host, Mr. Hypocrisy.

2005-07-08T19:38:00.000-07:00

You know it's quite funny. From the very day we are born we experience contradictions in life. They start small with things such as: "Child! Don't eat that cookie before dinner!"...opposing..."You're only a kid once". Later, the contradictions grow into mind boggling scenarios that can puzzle one for hours should they attempt to analyze it. One of the biggest wonkers that had me confused as a kid was, "If your friends jump off a cliff are you gonna' do it too?" Well, my answer was always "sure". Because I knew I'd fall into the river at the bottom of it where I could just "go with the flow". No wonder some (who's kidding, most) of America's youth are so screwed up. If you don't know who you are growing up you're SOL.

.....WoRk iN pRoGrEsS.......Later

It's a Bloggety, Blog, Blog World...

2005-06-24T19:38:00.000-07:00

...but not tonight. I only wish to address Mr. "Frost": Please read my comments section from last night's blog. Thanks!

To Whom it May Concern:

2005-06-23T20:42:00.000-07:00

I, by nature have always been a fairly accepting person. But as I am human I do have a few pet peeves that tend to set me off. Tonight, for the sake of your time and my blood pressure I will focus on only one of them: Egotistical Morons. By my definition, this is a person who thinks they "know it all", but in reality don't know shit about really anything. This type of person inflicts them self on other people and offers what they believe to be helpful advice when it was neither asked for, nor needed. I try as I can to be patient with this type of people, because as we all should, I feel sorry for them. They are absolutely ignorant to the fact that they are an egotistical moron. A true E.M. wouldn't even know when he was being directly addressed. Well, here's what I have to offer all of you E.M.'s, and I'd pay attention:

1. Don't always share your "advice", as it is not always wanted.
2. If this person you wish to bless with your genius is a stranger, don't do it! It's creepy.
3. Don't assume you know everything and the person you speak to knows nothing. It is rude, and being an e.m., 95% of the time you are wrong.

Readers: Please...do read my comments section under my last blog for more of an understanding as to why I chose this topic for tonight's discussion. Oh, and to whom it may concern: Keep your English advice to yourself. You are so chicken that you have to make yourself "anonymous"...and you also appear to talk out of your behind seemingly without having a blog of your own. Let me enlighten you...This is a blog site...it's not an English class, and you sir are no professor. If I choose to write a fun and casual piece about whatever the hell I want, I can do that. Judging by the way you naively throw your opinions around, I would say you haven't a clue about what you preach. I myself have been through several writing programs in grade school and college, and have received honors and awards for my skill. So, if I choose to write a formal essay... you can bet you'll know it is such. Why??? Because I can write faster and better in my sleep, with my hands tied behind my back, with a stick up my ass than I'm sure you could in a millennium. We're all just having fun here. So, thank you for your kind advice "Robert F."...but I say this with the best wishes...Fuck off. Have a good night!

Thought of the Day: I have to send my deepest condolences to a frog, we'll call "Tire Ted". I apparently hit him with my car pulling in the driveway this evening, and didn't notice till a couple of hours later. If I would have seen you Ted...:( Maybe in your next life you'll be a car (jk). I'm sorry, and God bless...

What's the Matter, Burger Got Your Tongue?

2005-06-21T19:42:00.000-07:00

It's all around us... We can see it, and smell it. Subliminal TV and paper advertisements induce our body's cravings for it. "It"... is fast food, and no matter how hard you strive to beat it, you will be assimilated! This blogg's purpose is mainly to defend the harsh criticism out there concerning fat*...scuse me, *fast food industries.
Let's just bring it out there...now why do we all fear fast food? It's not because it tastes horrible. The big burgers with all the grease and sloppiness, making us want to run and scream!? No.... We don't fear the french fry for its salty, hot tasting and crunchy goodness that we crave...No....Hmm, then what are we afraid of? Well, most women know it as "cottege cheese". If you are a woman, then you know what I mean. It's the little, lets call them "happy dimples" on the back of your leg (technical name: "cellulite"). Yes, even men fear cottage cheese...honestly, no man wants a woman who's got happy legs. If her legs are really happy the kids can play "what's that shape?" on momma's stems. It's a horrible thing. Well, even though this is indeed a horrible thing, let me be the relief by first saying to all of you who cut down f-f (fast food)...Chill Out!!! It takes a hell of a lot more than a burger....or two...or three, or whatever to build cellulite and other fat. For some, happy legs are out of their hands, as it can be genetic as well. So, hey, have your burger and eat it too! It has long been proven that eating whatever earlier in the day helps to burn calories and increase metabolism... even if it is, say, a #2 at Wendy's. Some argue you are more likely to actually gain weight and/or cottage cheese from eating a salad late at night before bed. So stuff your face everyody! Burgers are back! Though I feel strongly, please note: I am just an informent, not an expert, so do remember what yo' momma said..."Everything in proportion"...and do whatever the hell you want with it.

Psst... Till next time!

Thought Blog: Is anybody else frustrated that Snapple yellow lemonade cannot be found in stores anymore?...Psh, I am. If you feel what I say, talk to me. Im listening ;)

What the Next Presidential Speech Should Be:

2005-06-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

My Fellow Americans, I do not claim to be any wiser, any stronger, or more fair in my opinions than any of you. I have lived this life as every one of you have, and I have walked the streets of our aging nation. I know we are going through rough and changing times. I cannot promise you I can stop that from happening, because change and pain are things healed only by God. I know every one of you out there whether just for a second, or consumed by it have thought about the war and how our people are dying. I know you've thought about what it might be like....to die.

As I sympathize, I say to you, people die out there every day...Bad things happen...every single second. Every day somebody's child is kidnapped, every day a family is torn apart, a woman is raped, somebody's beloved pet is put to sleep, a home burns up in flames, a newborn baby stops breathing, a wife/husband is killed in a car accident, somebody's best friend is the victim of a bullet, and every minute of every day somebody's mother is diagnosed with cancer. So much heartache in one place in the world. Will it get better? Nobody can promise that. Ultimately that's not even up to us. Some people argue that we were born to destroy ourselves. For every new medicine and every cure there is another disease to defeat. We can't win...but knowing that doesn't mean we should stop trying. For all the pain you feel whenever these things occur... take that power and try as you can to turn it around, and mold it into motivation to do something good in your life. Do something that empowers you. Our troops are doing that right now.

Just because you've been knocked down, doesn't mean you have to stay there. Remember, for all the bad things that happen, there are blessings that accompany them. Our nation is wrapped in a giant blanket, and this blanket brings the good things and the warmth to keep us going. For all of us it has given something....A new life to the world... peace to those who have none...it brings food to the hungry... lost children home safely... it joins two hearts together in love... a new home to a family who's lost their's...a puppy to a kid without a friend in the world...a pat on the back when were down on our luck... the warm hand of a loved one to hold, as we tell the world goodbye.
I stand before you, wrapped up in that same blanket. As my knees tremble I continue to speak to you, hoping that somehow I will succeed in my mission to lead this nation...Not by power, or popularity... but on my good faith as a human being. Thank you and God speed.

Excuse Me America, Can You Wipe My Ass?

2005-05-29T20:38:00.000-07:00

Now, I'm not one to quote the elders or anything, but it has to be said that "back in the day" people did more things for themselves. Sure, if you want to argue customer service had a different manner altogether too, but for the most part people didn't rely on somebody else to do their daily tisk tasks. In fact, it used to be a sign of pride doing things such as; mowing your lawn, walking your own dog, washing your car, etc. But every time America takes a step forward into the future and into modernization, something else takes a big step back. "Something" in this case is our ingenuity.
As some of you know, I work for a bakery in a Publix shopping centre near my house. I have been observing society go down the do-it-yourself tubes for a long time, but never did I know the full extent of the disease until I began working there a year and a half ago. In that time, I have come to realize that myself, my family, and friends like me are a dying breed. IE: Those of you who HOLD your own knives to cut your steak, bravo! Similiarly, 95% of my customers WILL NOT buy bread unless it is pre-cut. If an associate is busy, bleeding, or dying on the floor behind the counter, they WILL WAIT until we can clean up the bloddy mess, as long as their bread is cut eventually. There is whole new breed of people out there on the horizon that absolutely refuse to read labels. I don't know about you, but it is sort of a pride thing that I will exhaust all efforts of finding something before I go and ask for help. Sometimes, I won't ask for it even if I do need assistance. My people...You would not believe how many fully capable Americans are not shamed to walk right up to a counter and immediately ask for help before anything else. No matter if what they need is smacking them in the head, they will still ask for help. I had a customer just this afternoon who walked right up to the counter and proceeded to ask me if we had sour dough bread. I said "Yes sir, we do"...looking down and assuming (crazy me) that he would notice the sour dough bread lying in a heap below his nose. Nope. "Where is it?" he asked, and didn't even look down..."Right there sir," I pointed it out to him. Not looking down again, he blindly fumbled over a plastic package with his lazy fingers, then raised it up in the air and waved it around, assuming what I can only describe as the typical stance of a baboon. "Is this it?" he asked... I, trying quite so hard to be polite (as it was early), simply smiled and responded "Yes sir, you got it". Another frequent customer likes to grab about 20 freshly baked bagels from the bagel bins, and then ask us to cut them for him. Every time we tell him, "Sir, we have no special bagel cutting machine, we would simply use a knife to cut them in half," just as he would...and every time, somebody ends up doing the job of yet another American befallen to the lazy ass illness.
What is up with the "Can I just get one of these?" people??? I mean, when were you last able to go to a store, pick up a bag of hamburger buns, rip it open and remove four with the justification that you only have four burgers, why should you pay for 8 buns??? People, are you living in this country??? What the hell is your problem!!!??? Im sorry, really, but the world will never revolve around your saving fifty cents, so shut the hell up, and take the other 4 friggin buns! It's what keeps the economy goin' 'round. Or else when your child/grandchild is ready to go to college, or trying to find a job in the real world, and they are SOL...they can turn around, look you in the face and say "THANKS FOR BUYING THE BUNS BITCH!"

Tired from wiping ass all day...to be continued....

2005-05-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

Odie in the light. How cute is that?

For My Buddy...

2005-05-03T19:16:00.000-07:00

Nearly a decade ago when I first met you I didn't imagine that the years of your life following could bring me anymore excitement, or emotion than I felt in that first moment. I didn't know anything then. Through some of the worst times of my life you were there to pull me through. I have thought about one time in particular, but never told you. It was really the first day after you came home to me, and I had a horrible day of 6th grade life, ha. It seems so petty now, but I remember walking through the front door so bumbed out, and I turned to see my pup waddle around the corner. In an instant I had forgotten everything that troubled me, threw off my bag, and sank to the floor. You waited for me to come home from school every day at the front door for the next 7 years. I taught you how to sit, how to shake, how to play "guess the hand" treat games. You were a great dog. In your best years you certainly put up a good race around the pool. You were the only bulldog I've ever had that was able to catch a rabbit, lol...but who would only lick it, and walk away. That's the sweet bear you always were. You were my "sugar bear" Odie. I can't even begin to completely recognize all of the times we've had together. But in your last hours, and even though you and I had nearly forgotten all of this, I want to recognize you the way you deserve. The amount of pain I feel now about losing you can only be equaled by the amount of joy I felt that first night I met you. Where did it all go? I love you Odie, and baby I'm so sorry you have to go. I will see you again I promise, but until then you'll be in good company.

WANTED: 2 decently priced Kenny Chesney tickets, ASAP!

2005-04-29T19:26:00.000-07:00

If you have or know anybody with Kenny Chesney (sexy bitch) concert tickets for Tampa, Florida...Please do send me a comment...Thanks!

My Give A Damn's Busted!!!

2005-04-27T20:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys! I will have a new post asap...It is cram time, so I must devote my full attention to that for now...that and my reeses peanut butter cups, lol, jk...kinda...peace! ;)

2005-04-26T00:32:00.000-07:00

My GIZZY!!!

"Driving" Me CrAzY

2005-04-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

Let it be known: Florida is the melting pot of the United States. Citizens young, old, rich, poor, clinically insane, just plain stupid, and alike occupy our ever decaying roads on a daily basis. I strongly reccommend not driving in Florida unless it is absolutely imperative. If you do you may encounter the following:

1. People slowing down and speeding up in a situation that impedes the drivers around them.
2. People talking on cellular/ear phones, and not paying attention.
3. People who will not keep a decent speed!
4. People that go when they shouldn't, and cut you off or otherwise causing a few pebbles in your panties.
5. People that nearly hit you and don't even notice.
6. Good Lord the old people. Need I say more? Some think they still need to stick their hands out the window to signal a turn, which poses a problem as they are all nearly crippled.
7. People not using blinkers to turn.
8. People who cut you off to get over and then go slow in front of you.
9. People that go slow in the "fast lane" (left to those of you whom this applies!)
1o. People that stay in the right lane on a highway when they are being merged...hint...its for the people who are merging, so be curteous and move it!
11. People who stop at yellow lights!
12. People who take too long to go when a light turns green.
13. RUBBERNECKERS!!!! It's an accident, yep...move on unless you wanna cause another one!
14. People who don't obey simple traffic laws...ie: if you have the right of way....GO!!!
15. People for the LOVE OF GOD who slow down on an up-ramp.
16. People who tailgate (me specifically). I am the only one who can do it, because I am the creator of the rules.
17. Bicyclists who do not use the sidewalks we all so happily coughed up tax dollars to create.
18. People who tag team to slow up all lanes of traffic by going slow, staying parallel, and not letting anybody pass their slow little crab trap.
19. People who do not stop for buses and paramedics! (Im not a total monster ;)
20. People who don't know where in the hell they are going.
21. People who stop up an entire lane of traffic to try to let somebody out. In good time, it's fine, but people it's Florida, even the soccer mom's give the fingers down here.
22. People who stop short.
23. People who start to stop 50,000 feet away from the car in front of them!
24. People who break on the highway when there is no reason to do it. Do you see flashing red lights on the bumper in your front view? No? Then don't break!
25. FINALLY: ANYBODY ON THE ROAD EXCEPT ME!

*Oh, and by the way...Try not to stop at green lights, psh, people hate that ;)

Bit of Info Blotter for the day: See any grey hairs on your head? Well start checking...People today are beginning the ever fearful color fade as early as their 20's. If you're worried about going pre-maturely bald, you might as well keep an eye out for those early greys as well. If you are in fact going grey, WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT? Ladies...color, color, color! You've always had fun with it anyway, so here's your chance to be vivacious and new. Don't be down in the dumps about it, because even if you loved your old haircolor, chances are you can find your very own tone in a bottle on the shelf today. Guys, what can I tell ya? Next time you look in a mirror, take a closer look at your hair. Would you want to date a woman with the grey's? Get self conscious about your head, the other one ;) Consider making a move against masculinity, and go shopping for hair care.

~Until next time, have a nice night, and don't let the grey-haired bad drivers bite!

2005-04-20T20:26:00.000-07:00

Me at the beach this past Saturday. WOOOO it was cold!!!

Parents: Can't Live With Them, Can't Kill Them...

2005-04-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

Who has not had issues with their parent(s)? In our lives either mom or dad is the real thorn in our side. Ironically, it seems to get worse as you get older, and the bickering is at its peak when you are least in the position to recieve it. It's typically that we don't understand something, we didn't do something, or if we did it wasn't done right. We will ALWAYS get yelled at for things we don't neccesarily deserve, and be made to feel like irresponsible and/or spoiled human beings. As long as we live under "their roof" we will never win. The only thing we can do is band together an accept the situation, but know better. We know it's far from the truth, but in situations such as these that have existed since the world was new, it is wise to accept the unevitable truth that it will never change. The planets will not align to make this parent/child social behavior tradition lift from its roots. Just as the food chain amongst mammals has existed; the fish do not and will not ever eat the eagles! But seek comfort my parent plagued pals, in knowing that one day the tides will turn. We will be there, and somebody we do not know yet will be in our places. Maybe we can prosper from our experiences, and start to change this epidemic. Gradually, young adults all over the world will be able to take out their trash when they are good and ready.

Food For Thought: Recently, the crazy radical freaks at the front of the food health line have made another control freak move concerning children's health. Starting with the newest produced shows, the fun loving and classical Sesame Street character, the cookie monster must change his famous phrase after years of tradition. That's right! The phrase we all grew up with will be altered for "suggestive" selling to kids, if you will. Instead of grumbling, "It's always time for a cookie!" Our blue friend must now tell kids of America "It's SOMETIMES time for a cookie..." Come again? No need, you read it right I assure you. The cookie monster is now an official for children's health. He alike others has made it his business to see that your kids don't get fat.

Just Like Riding A Bike?

2005-04-15T21:25:00.000-07:00

A few nights ago I discovered my moms old rollerblades. They were from the days when it was popular. We both had a pair, and around the age of 12 I sort of pushed her into going out with skating with me. Her blades needless to say were a lot nicer than my plastic on wheels...and the rollerblading phase was short lived. The blades went back into closet and haven't been seen until just the other night. After viewing a video stand up of myself in my broadcast news class earlier, I felt the need to exercise, lol. So I slipped on the blades, and thought I'd take my baby chihuahua Gizmo with me for a round. As I said to myself aloud "just like riding a bike", I went flying down my driveway! I forgot how smooth the ride is, esp since I've gotten a little older, and a little heavier than I was at age 12. So as I roll into the grass, I realize it may not be such a good idea to take my baby with me...I must go it alone. The most frightfuil thing about rollerblading at night is the bumps in the way. Honestly, there was a 4x4 right ahead of me, and I didnt event see it till my right skate stopped underneath me. There is not much to do about stopping either. Whoever put the little rubber backs on the one skate, yeah, why? So to stop one is supposed to pull their foot back in such an akward angle and that lil rubber cork is gonna stop the momentum of your body without propelling you forward on your face? No. I use the grass. Another thing I remembered quickly is that rollerblading isn't like cruising on a bike, or even on a skateboard...you never lean back!!! NEVER! I got a little too confident right at the begginning and before I went over my first bump in the pavement, I leaned back a tad, and woopsy! yeah, gotta remember nothin' but wheels there...Before the end of the night I was sailing, ha, almost like I used to. It's just those driveway jumps that kinda scare me. So, after all that I'm sure I'll look great on my next stand up ; ) More nonesense to come, tune in!

2005-04-14T19:35:00.000-07:00

Furious Beauty

DA DA DA...

2005-04-14T19:26:00.000-07:00

CortZone

Okay, the blog I just wrote was entirely erased...So I'm gonna start again... I be;ieve I was saying how I have this thing that happens, on weeks like this. I call it the "fuck off" mode. Unfortunately, on weeks like this, it comes on. It's really horrible I know, I wouldn't even want to be around me when I get like this. Knowing me, I think it's a defense mechanism, when things go bad, and the worst part is it's not discremenatory. I do it to my friends and my fam. Good news, my adv proff liked my ad! ha, who would have thought. The bad thing is, I dont think it wil be enough to save my grade. I haven't told but one person about my situation yet, lol. Geez, I mean, were supposed to be proffessionals here right, nobody does that. If you do, its not looked at well. I am more angry with myself than anything. The worst part is, I can't even bring myself to be happy for people around me who are doing great things. People that mean a lot to me, I justify not being thrilled for them. It's horrible, I know, and I feel like a horrible person, but I don't know, I can't seem to help it. I'm in defense mode in my head. I'm horrible, lol. I think a big part stems from this advertising thing just leeming over me. I mean, what would happen, if tommorrow I just came out and said "Hey, everybody, I'm gonna fail advertising"?...lol, some ppl would say "thats okay, it happens," but those are the ones that have never been in that boat. They're really thinking "Geez, maybe she's not so smart"...Ive always believed that I was above that, but maybe I'm not. Maybe I belong in the boat with the other people that just can't cut it. My brother is now an author, I congratulated him. His thesis was brought before the board last week and accpeted. He will be published in the library in Orlando. LMAO, my brother, an author before me, and I was the one who was always so prideful about my writing work. He's brilliant really, he'll be gradutating with honors on May 6th of this year. Honors college and honors major. My parents keep tellin me, "you should be proud of your brother, he's worked so hard, everybody is gonna be so proud when they hear" every single lovin day... How am supposed to look at them and tell them, I'm gonna fail a class? That is really killin me right now... I didn't even tell em a girl backed into me yesterday, lol, that would ensure my death... You ever just wish you could wake up one morning and be somewhere else, be somebody else maybe? I wanna be in that picture I posted. They may not have had kenny chesney back then, but hey, they had cows...lots of em... The thing about dreaming is you wake up...and tommorrow's starin' you in the face...Sometimes I could swear I hear it laughing.

2005-04-13T20:55:00.000-07:00

blabla

2005-04-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

Yep, me, aren't you jealous?

Urrgghh...

2005-04-13T19:31:00.000-07:00

Ya know, it can't be just me. It can't. Either I am cursed, or I overract to things that happen to me on a daily basis. I'm starting to think it's both, lol... Really, unless anybody else is regularly experiencing idiots all around them, COCKroaches in their food, and bumper cars in a mere 10 hr day. I would like for one moment to be able to think clearly, and straight. Maybe that's hard to understand because if you're like me you don't even remember what it's like. ADD?...no, I think it's called school, work, and stress....Life.....It'll kill ya.....